The Shadow of Grief During COVID-19
The sweep of COVID-19 across the world has completely altered our way of life, from the way we interact with others to our access of resources. For the last year and a half it seems as if everything we know changes on a daily basis. As we continue to work on adjusting to each new wave of information, we may also be using this time to reflect on what this last year has been like. Upon reflection, we are likely to find a hole has been left in our lives, a hole that is filled with sadness, anger, and loss. A loss of normalcy, of certainty, and, for many, a loss of hope. Gone are the carefree days that used to define our lives. We now live in a world that is not only being plummeted by COVID news, but also one that is being shadowed by grief.
The rapid spread of the coronavirus has left many of us anxious and scared for the future, worried not only about becoming ill, but also about what a loss of income may mean for our family. Many are, perhaps for the first time, experiencing existential losses as we watch social connections, events, and plans for the future get left behind. During this time of uncertainty, grief comes in many different forms, whether it be grief from the death a loved one, unemployment, social isolation, loss of routine, loss of perceived safety, or making the choice to cancel major life events. For families, there is immense fear for the safety of unborn and newborn children and a loss of expectations for what bringing a new family member into the world would look like. Whatever this loss looks like, it is real and it is valid.
In order to cope with the grief that is impacting our lives, we must first be able to recognize what the emotion is. We cannot heal what we are not aware of. Anger, powerlessness, blame, resentment, denial, and sadness are just a few of the emotions that may be surfacing over the course of this coronavirus outbreak. These mixed emotions are grief. When we come to understand and honor that pain, we are able to break free from it.
Recognizing our grief
As you read through each of these, consider which are most painful for you.
Social isolation- The coronavirus quarantine resulted in many people staying home, no longer visiting family or friends. This loss of social support and connection with others causes not only physical isolation, but also emotional isolation. Families and friends were no longer able to gather to welcome a newborn child, celebrate a birthday, or be there for support when a medical diagnosis was given. Whether this is still something that you are doing or you have begun to reflect on it in the past, acknowledge how this forced separation has impacted you and the way you interact with others now.
Unemployment- As stores and restaurants around the world closed, many found themselves without a job and without income to support their family during this crisis. Loss of a job may have also contributed to the fear of losing a home, being unable to buy food, or an inability to pay the bills that continue to come each month.
Cancelling plans- Many people also found themselves forced to cancel family events that had been planned for this time. Weddings, birthday celebrations, family reunions, and funerals continue being cancelled during these ever changing times. Following such cancellations, you may experience a loss of expectations, a loss of financial investment, and a loss of connection during times when people long to be together.
Loss of a loved one- One of the most painful and scary parts of this pandemic has included the fear of losing a loved one. With the fatality numbers still increasing each day, families are facing loss at rates the world has not experienced in a long time. Not only are families dealing with the death of a loved one, they are left to face the grief isolated from those they are closest to, making the suffering even more potent.
These are only some of the ways in which people may be experiencing grief during this unprecedented time. After increasing awareness around grief and the emotional upheaval of the many losses associated with this pandemic, coping skills can then begin to be utilized.
Honoring our grief and coping
Expressive arts-Writing, drawing, or any other form of expressive art can be an effective way to further convey the emotions associated with grief during this time.
Finding and maintaining hobbies-Staying at home can often feel both like a blessing and a curse. Many families have found solace in being able to accomplish long awaited household renovations during this time, but have also lost many beloved hobbies. This can be a great time to explore new hobbies that can be done at home and finding creative ways to achieve old hobbies within the walls of your residence. Hobbies not only provide a distraction from the distress of COVID, but can also be a source of relief from the sometimes crippling feelings of grief.
Mindfulness- Implementing some sort of mindfulness into your daily or weekly routine not only opens up space to connect with your inner experience, but also improves presence of mind during the day. Mindfulness exercises could include traditional meditation practices, mindful eating, or simply taking a few deep breaths throughout the day.
Seeking support- Although times have changed and seeking physical support from others is more difficult to achieve, it is still vital that we maintain connection with those we love and feel comfortable enough to share our experiences with. Setting up video calls or phone calls is a great way to stay connected. If you need additional support for processing and coping with grief, many therapists in the community continue seeing clients through teletherapy.
Considering all that is going on in the world, it is important to recognize that whatever feelings are coming up are valid and real. Everyone is experiencing this pandemic differently, but no way is right or wrong and it is okay to be grieving the big and the small losses.
