A Lesson in Accountability
I’M BACK! It has been months since I last wrote, due to a mix of unexpected life circumstances, work, and writer’s block. As I start this journey into writing on a regular basis, I began to really explore my beliefs around accountability and how I can hold myself more accountable for my actions. In this post, I will share my refections on accountability and then discuss some ways for you do to the same, set up functional accountability measures, and get shit done.
Let’s start with the word itself: accountability. What is your instant, knee jerk reaction to hearing that word? For me, it’s a groan followed closely by the thought that I don’t need to have that because I am a responsible adult who always follows through on what I say I am going to. Clearly, that is not the case. (Insert some self-compassion here, because I recognize that I’m human and make mistakes. A LOT of mistakes.). My goal when opening my practice and creating a website was to post weekly (if I could), but at the very least to post something once a month. It has now been too many months to count and I know I have been radio silent. This leads me back to accountability. I thought that just setting this intention in my head would be enough to ensure that I followed through. However, that did not work and I have come to realize that my beliefs around accountability have been a huge part of the problem.
Here’s another severe cognitive distortion I had around accountability: only people who are severely undisciplined need to intentionally set up accountability measures. Even as I write that down I sigh with how messed up that thought is. Life happens to us all, so having people in your corner to help you achieve the goals you set is an unbelievable gift, especially considering not everyone has that. Ultimately, I have found that my mindset around accountability has caused the most damage to one person: me. It makes me feel shame for not accomplishing the goals that I set for myself, but also for others who could possibly benefit from what I have to say. It has stopped me from doing something I love as well.
I know that reflection, although vital to the process, is not where this journey ends. I also need to take action and make changes in order to achieve the goals I set for myself. That being said, I am doing this by making two major changes:
I am working on growing the mindset of: Accountability is a stepping stone to success. Embrace it and grow.
I have set up multiple accountability measures in my life, including a creative co-working time every week and asking people in my life to check in with me on progress.
Here are some steps to follow if you also have a difficult relationship with accountability:
Acknowledge your beliefs and the reasons for those beliefs regarding accountability.
Think about the mindset you want to build around accountability.
Put reminders about your new mindset wherever you can! When I am working on changing my mindset, I often put it as my phone screensaver.
Setup accountability measures. This could look like getting a reward, co-working, a phone call from someone to check your process, setting timelines, or simply telling others about your plans and asking them to periodically ask you how you’re doing. Based on personal experience, I believe that setting up more than one accountability strategy results in more productivity.
Continually explore what’s working with your accountability measures and what isn’t. Change whatever isn’t working for you.
If this is something you struggle with, remember that you are not alone! Making change is hard, but it is possible.
